This is a question many students ask me, “Neel, I am not able to connect spiritually to Yoga, e.g. I do not have a connection with a deity such as Shree Ganesha or even Jesus Christ. So, I feel at a loss. On one hand, I do not feel the connection. On the other hand, I feel that I am loosing something.”
Actually, the above statement is not complete. What the person wants to tell me is that he/she is loosing something he/she feels others are getting. Firstly, he/she should not want something because others are having it. My neighbour has an expensive car. But, I have no interest in it. I know that car is expensive, it is much better than my car, and I am still not interested in it. Why? I do not feel any connection with that car. Can I earn it? Yes, sure. If I work enough, I shall be able to earn it. Do I want? NO.
Now, if I really want that car, I must try for it. But, I cannot try unless I want it. I should want it for myself, not because my neighbor has it. Does that make sense? In the same way, unless yourself have a want for the connection to deity, you should not worry about it. Even Bhagavadgita, the Indian Spiritual Scripture states the same thing. “svadharme nidhanam shreyah, paradharmo bhayaavahaH”.
If you really want that connection, you will find it. Finding the connection, wanting the connection, and belief are all identical. You do not need to worry about the word Spirituality also. But, you should know that there are things other than what you are doing. And, there definitely is such a thing as deity, as spirituality, and as Whatever.
Yes, sometimes, people say things are with them even if they do not have. For example, a mother praises her child as very intelligent even if the child has not passes some subjects. But, that is her behavior. That does not mean passing all subjects does not exist.
But, do not worry. Just enjoy what you have and what you are doing. It will change for the better! I mean it will go on improving if you continue doing it.